Katherine Pauletti

Welcome to my website!

Learning to Live with Recurring Emotional Trauma

I am Katherine Pauletti, a math educator and an aspiring math education researcher currently working alongside dedicated educators to improve the opportunities for underserved youth while writing a dissertation.

Check out the blog for an array of topics, including:

My reflections on the events leading up to my sexual assault,
A breakdown of the NYP article,
Inconsistencies and authenticity issues related to the investigation, and by extension, the State's case,
The harassment I've received since, and
(for fun!) ADA related travel reviews based on my experiences traveling with someone who has limited mobility.

Also, visit the Refuting NY Post/Receipts page for some of the evidence submitted at the hearing as well as the finding that was issued by the hearing officer.

All information posted on this site is a matter of public record.

My assaulter's name will remain redacted in images and he will remain anonymous in my blog posts because he was 17 years old at the time of the assault. And, I long ago chose to forgive him. While I uphold that choice, it does not make living with the ramifications of his actions and lies any easier. But, it frees me from the burden that hate and anger towards another brings with them.

This doesn't mean that I don't get angry sometimes. I do and the anger is usually triggered by an event; it isn't ever present. When it arises, it is typically focused on the things below:

I, the victim of sexual assault, am the one whose name has been slandered in a major newspaper.
I have to create a website to mitigate the damage caused by the slander.
I get harassed by anonymous people hiding behind a screen because of the slander.
Victim-blaming is still being practiced in 2023.
Despite the findings, the spotlight remains focused on me.
Lack of in-school student support services puts teachers in a position where they must choose between turning away a student in need or providing support for which they have no training.

But, I no longer get angry at the person who sexually assaulted me.

********************************************************This site's traffic is quite high some days - I'm not really sure who it is that's Googling me and/or visiting directly from the website address, or what anyone's interest(s) in my site (or me) is.

If you are someone I know in some capacity (family, friend, current or former colleague, acquaintance, etc.) and you have questions about anything on this site, reach out to me via my contact information, which you should already have. (I almost never check the contact form on this site.) I can't say I'd be "happy" to discuss being sexually assaulted by a student, but I'm told that the more I talk about it, the easier it becomes to do so.

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Learning to Live with Recurring Emotional Trauma

On August 15, 2014, I was sexually assaulted by a student, who later made false allegations about the nature of the assault.

Nearly 10 years later, the physical trauma is long gone, but I still experience emotional trauma brought on by Google and unknown numbers. I often wonder if I actually spoke openly about being sexually assaulted by a student, would that mitigate the trauma associated with Google? But, I still find it difficult to talk about, so I don't.

I relive the assault every time I meet someone new, personally or professionally, and think about them Googling my name only to find the retaliatory NY Post article, which was written largely from my assaulter's false statements and published exactly three weeks after I exercised my due process rights to an administrative hearing so that I could introduce evidence that refuted my assaulter's allegations.

I relive the assault nearly every time an unfamiliar number appears on my phone; I no longer check my "spam" folder - the consequences of being harassed via phone and email by people who have the privilege of anonymity.

I had my hearing, submitted reams of evidence, and told my story.

The hearing officer's findings acknowledge that I was sexually assaulted by the student. She did not find the existence of a sexual relationship; however, she problematically engaged in victim-blaming when she found that I caused my own sexual assault. Now, that certainly triggered more emotional trauma.

I'm thankful to have been able to submit direct evidence that the student lied, namely his written admission of lying.

Over the past decade, I've gained more and more clarity regarding how unprepared I was to manage the emotional needs of students. In 2014, I took on that responsibility because there were no structures in place at the school to support the emotional needs of students and, for the first time in my teaching career, students asked for the support.

I tried to help by applying to youth my business experience supporting the needs of non-profits and it didn't turn out very well for me. Even before being sexually assaulted, I was emotionally exhausted by the magnitude of problems many students came to me with. I went to advisors and counselors to share my concerns only to be told that they're typical teenagers; no big deal. There was no support for students at the school.

At the start of the 2014/15 school year, I found the app Remind 101, and used it as an alternative to the requirement that we teachers provide our students with our phone numbers for field trips. That requirement, which came from my grade team leader following a Jan 2014 gas leak evacuation on the day of a field trip, was what opened up students' access to me. In hindsight, I should've ignored each one of them every time they reached out.

Life is full of lessons. This was a painful one.